Meditation isn't all sugar and spice. It can be challenging. However, what it gives you is a gift. It can be my decompression chamber.
For me, i am lighter, nicer and more compassionate after I've meditated.
The other day I was playing with Lyra and balancing on a ball. I said 'wow, I feel really steady'. She said 'that's 'cos you meditated mummy'. My little guru.
When I sit sometimes, It's like I have to sit with all the uncomfortable 'bad bits' to allow them to release up and out of me. Leaving the way for a lighter, brighter kirsty.
Today, I sat with the anger that rose up in me as my dog licked and made loads of noise continually for what seemed like ages. How dare you when I'm meditating (I know, I can see the irony in all of this). So, I sat with those sensations, noticed where it came from in my physical body and where it went. I allowed it to be.
My 'go to' is to tell the dog to be quiet, today, I did that before then realising that this situation is about acceptance and being with what is.
When I did that and sat with it and let things just be, I then fell into a deep state of awareness, the place beyond anger, emotion. I felt like I sunk deep into my own body, yet I was a vastness. It felt comforting, steady and rock like. I feel like I've released a layer within, meditation is an unravelling, you may not like everything that presents itself but it's healing at a cellular level.